How to be a Fantastic Mum!

What makes you a fantastic Mum?  Clearly everyone is going to have their own ideas here and each of these individual ideas will have great validity because they will be true for you and to be sure that’s probably one of the first qualities about being a great Mum

  • Know yourself and be true to yourself!  If you know what you’re all about and don’t try and compromise yourself then you know what you’ll accept and what you won’t.  You don’t need to judge others for having their own opinions for you can accept that everyone is entitled to their own views but acknowledge that you don’t necessarily have to subscribe to them.  This then puts in place firm foundations that your children will feel are secure and safe!
  • Next don’t become the sacrificial lamb – being a great mum is not about being a martyr!  How many Mums out there are run ragged trying to fit everything in, giving in to every demand and never having any time for themselves!  If you do this long enough you pay a huge price!  It’s good for the children to see you take some time for yourself – ultimately you give them the message that actually I think I’m worth enough to have a little bit of me time.   If you have that confidence they will mirror it in their self-esteem.
  • Remember Mary Poppins was practically perfect in every way but you don’t have to be and neither do your children!  Good is good enough and to be honest you help your children to understand that they are good enough too.  Don’t set yourself up to fail, set yourself up to succeed and encourage your children to do the same by your example.  Always encourage your children to aspire to their best and celebrate the effort they’ve put in!
  • Next don’t feel guilty.  So many people live between guilt and fear and it’s crippling them!  Life is for living and when you do that, taking responsibility for your actions, and avoiding the blame mentality that proliferates in the world today, you can enjoy TODAY.  Don’t also succumb to any ideas of giving in to your children when you’ve put something in place that maybe they don’t like because you love them – take the time instead to explain the why.
  • Remain patient.  So easily said than done, this is absolutely key to parenting and to be honest life in general!  Being fantastic is also about being calm; taking things in your stride and managing your emotions!  It’s also about the realization that when you’re dealing with your children, sometimes you need to look at any event that is unfurling as a picture that you and the children are in, then visualize climbing out of that picture and give yourself advice as to how it would be best handled.
  • Seek first to understand before being understood.  This is one of Stephen Covey’s “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” and is so important in your role as Mum.  Listening first is critical.  First hear your children and then you can address their concerns from the angle that they are coming from.  It may just save you the “Yeah, but” come back that children love to use!  It may of course be that they don’t want anything addressing but just an ear to chew!  If you don’t listen you won’t know!
  • Be the Mum!  Sounds so simple yet so many want to be friends with their children and yes that’s great but first and foremost be the Mum!  Children want a secure, safe base to move out from.  The child that has a secure base will be more independent than the one that doesn’t.  If they know you are Mum, dependable and available in that role then you are the secure, safe base!
  • Value your Children – teach your children that they have worth by spending time with them, enjoying conversation together, letting them have an opinion and encouraging them to have their own autonomy.  This builds their self-esteem but also if you let your children help out where they can and contribute to family life this will also develop a self-reliance helping them through the course of childhood and adolescence to move from complete dependence to independence as an adult.
  • Enjoy the little things in life.   In the modern world the simple things often get passed by and yet, to a child, these can often still bring great pleasure.  Helping your child to appreciate the smaller things in life will build foundations that will ground them for the rest of their lives.  If they don’t have a reliance on materialistic possessions they will be grounded in principles that are intrinsic to themselves – these never go away even in times of austerity and at all times build muscle that shapes an adult that understands responsibility and respect!
  • Enjoy Each Other – Firstly and finally (if that makes sense) take time out to enjoy life with your children.  Even in the midst of the hustle and the bustle making time to relax and have fun is another stepping stone towards becoming a fantastic Mum!

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3 Responses to How to be a Fantastic Mum!

  1. really value your perspective, its wonderful

  2. Valerie & Riana says:

    Fantastic and so true. With love

  3. Pingback: Why I Love Being A Mum « My Pathetic Attempts At Love

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