Paternal Alienation

Parental alienation is a much used word now in divorce cases and sadly a reality in the lives of so many children where parents can not put aside their personal differences for the sake of the children involved. Sometimes, fathers do not see their children for years and sometimes mothers are refused access to their children. In cases of parental alienation the other party believes that the parent with the children has deliberately alienated their children from them with malicious intent and sadly this is very often the case.

In some occasional cases however, the parent with the children has not abused their position and the opposite is true with the parent that doesn’t see his/her children behaving in such a way that alienates them. Here that parent may have been abusive, destabilized the children, withdrawn from them or generally not had the foresight to keep their emotions in check and literally scared the children from wanting to see them. Whilst these cases may be rare the children are still left with only one parent.

Critically, however, as parents it is so important to realize that sometimes our own selfish agendas have to be shelved for the love our children. We have to embrace our responsibility with respect for the children involved and in the name of humanity. Parenting nowadays is a joint venture and one that should be enjoyed by both parents alike. The emotional outfall from cases of parental alienation is huge – not only for the children but for the adults involved as well but at the end of the day love, respect and responsibility must shine though to the benefit of all involved.

The poem below seems to sum up a little of the emotional confusion that intrinsically surrounds this modern disease and cries out for the need for love, respect and responsibility to ultimately shine through to save lives being wrecked.

Parental alienation
Two words now banded round
By men and women both alike
Who have lost and not yet found.

The pain and disappointment
The crushing sense of loss
The hints of inequality
And feelings wound up cross.

The fathers missing children
And mothers all alone
The sense of ostracism
Cutting to the bone.

The hatred and the venom
The bitterness a twist
Vindictiveness apparent
Circulating in a mist.

So why are individuals
Ignoring such a call
And treating children just like pawns
With such emotional outfall?

And why are adults failing
To communicate and care
To think ahead, to draw a line
Remembering the love that once was there?

The love that made the children
The children in the frame
The picture all about them
Not about parental blame.

For blame will meet avoidance
Avoiding what is true
Truth honours the responsible,
With responsibility anew

Respect in the equation
Aside contempt and strife
To upheld the children’s voice
And ultimately their life.

Parental alienation
Two words of disrespect
Of lost responsibility
Leaving lives so sadly wrecked.

Parental Alienation

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5 Responses to Paternal Alienation

  1. Pingback: Divorce Issue: Divorced Dad Guide To Stopping Alienation | Real Divorce Talk

  2. Parental alienation is real and affects countless children, parents and extended family members every year.

    For more information, and resources, on parental alienation you can visit

  3. Pingback: Fantastic Information on Parental Alienation « The World according to Buffy

  4. Pingback: The Cloud That Masks The Sun | Ginz&Tonic

  5. Brittany says:

    This is a wonderful article on parental alienation. I especially appreciate the reminder that “Critically, however, as parents it is so important to realize that sometimes our own selfish agendas have to be shelved for the love our children.”

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