Now if we’ve said it before we’ll say it again, the parameters of good parenting evolve around Love, Respect and Responsibility. These three vital ingredients need to be stalwart in any parenting of children at whatever age and as such predicate a successful parenting style that gets alongside children, imparts joy into the relationship and seals improved behaviour, healthy interactions and happy children with a warm and encompassing triad of values that last a lifetime.
Key to the use of these standards in our interactions with our children is the word lasts a lifetime. Intrinsically and innately instilling the same values in our children en route, parenting using love, respect and responsibility ensures that children grow up harbouring the same principals in their lives. There is no quick fix mechanism, but instead a dedicated and focused pursuit towards the longevity in a calm, meaningful and heartfelt manner. As such each dispels the myth that negative reinforcement, such as a hefty use of exclusive or autocratic methods, works to manipulate behavioural outcomes “forever”. Instead such a myth is replaced with an approach that works with inclusivity and positive reinforcement to maximise the long term results.
This does not mean that consequences are not the result of bad behaviour but that the EMPHASIS is on encouragement and development of children’s autonomy and self-monitoring behaviour. Treat a child with respect and they will learn what respect is. Take responsibility and they will mimic it in their lives to become responsible. Show them love and they will, in turn, nurture loving frameworks.
These are the fundamental basics of good parenting. They are proven through studies such as Albert Bandura’s bobo doll experiments showing that children mimic what they observe and rubber stamped in the behaviourist principals of B F Skinner’s work on conditioning and reinforcement. Both tried and tested studies that have been replicated time and time again. They throw out of the window, the ‘supernanny’ dogmatic approach, which like her instant success, might provide instant results but sadly, leave huge question marks and can fall fowl to extinction in terms of negative behaviours returning in the longer term. Instead, love, respect and responsibility are a little trio of good; of positive and of excellence which should be considered in raising children everywhere.
And so the gauntlet is put down for parents everywhere to pick up a parenting style that demonstrates these. To focus on the positive, using positive reinforcement to manipulate behaviour with love, showing respect with responsibility rather than the cold, harsh and frosty short-term negative methods.